Are the visions of Sugar Plums dancing in your head yet, or just nightmares of your credit card debt? In all seriousness, I want to take this time to have you ask yourself a question, “Do you believe in Santa?” Most of us by now have realized that Santa Claus, as a living person, on this earth, who lives at the North Pole with his elves and visits millions and millions of homes all in one night, providing billions of dollars in toys to children across the world and yet has no seeming source of income, is a fictional character. If I just burst your bubble, I am deeply sorry.

The Gospel Truth?

What I want to talk about is the fact that we continue to urge, prompt, and sometimes demand that our children believe in a story that is not based in truth. We teach our children to believe in what we say and to trust us. When they tell us stories and fibs, we often challenge them when their stories don’t add up, and they may even have consequences for those stories. On the other hand, we want them to have fun being children and experience the joys of childhood, so we believe that we are entitled in the name of “tradition” to make stories like Santa and the Easter Bunny the Gospel Truth that we hold secret like fraternity and sorority ritual until the mystical “right of passage” occurs and/or until the gifts get too expensive. Then, after we let them know, we make it their job to keep the secret from other siblings or younger kids.

But why do the joys of a child’s Christmas have to be based in a fabrication? The risk is, what happens when our children find out that what we told them was a lie? Yes, I said it – a lie!  We often excuse ourselves, and tell them that it was to make Christmas more enjoyable for them.

If you can’t tell, I was one of those kids who felt totally betrayed when I found out about Santa, and I felt foolish for believing in something that I knew better than to believe, deep down inside. The result for so many kids, as they grow up, is that they question almost everything, and sometimes don’t know what and who to trust. I call this the “Santa Claus Syndrome”, and I believe that this is part of our epidemic of mistrust.

…Is Paved with Good Intentions…

Here is the way I see it. On one hand, Santa Claus, as he is presented, teaches children to expect to be given material things with no limit. Our kids make their lists and go tell this guy in a red suit, in the very places that we buy these items, what they want for Christmas, and they expect to get it. On the other hand, if they don’t get what they requested, then they sometimes believe that there must be something wrong with them and/or they are bad kids. Just ask a foster child or disadvantaged child how they felt when they may not have received anything from Santa. Even some songs about Santa tell kids that if they don’t behave, they may not get anything. And just what is up with the Elf on the Shelf who watches over your kids to make sure they are behaving? Do they then learn to behave only as long as they feel afraid to lose something that they want?

Santa has become the poster child of Christmas’ commercialism, and he encourages us to spend more than we sometimes should to make our children happy, and then we wonder why they want more. You can’t buy happiness. I believe that the idea of Santa and the various stories around the world of similar characters were created to teach unconditional love and to give a gift freely without the expectation of return. That is a wonderful message, and I teach my daughter those ideals values.

Dr. Scrooge???

So now you may be thinking, “Wow, Dr. E… has some issues. Perhaps he should be called Dr. Scrooge!” Let me help clarify this issue. I teach my 4 year-old daughter about the Spirit of Santa Claus. This spirit lives in all of us. It comes from our heart and is a gift from our creator. When we see Santa Clauses in various settings I tell her that is a guy dressed up like Santa, and she understands. When we watch Television specials about Santa, I tell her that these are stories to teach people about giving, sharing and loving unconditionally, and that is what Christmas is intended to be, IMHO.

I say that there are many stories in life that are written to teach us all how to live better lives and make better choices. I also have let her know that I will always tell her the truth about things. I never want her to question her trust in me, and I want her to believe in an unconditionally loving Creator who brought us all into being, and I want her to know that this world is a gift to us all. I also look forward to her continued spiritual exploration.

Here is my double bind. I don’t want my family to be seen as social pariahs for explaining Santa as we do, and it is priceless that my daughter has my trust. I personally don’t feel that the ends of how we do Santa justify the means. Do I see my daughter enjoying this season of Christmas? Yes I do. Will she get her gift from the Spirit of Santa? Yes, every year, because one never grows out of the Spirit of Santa. It is always within us.

Am I asking you to tell your kids what I tell my daughter? No. Would I like you to consider what you do tell them and why? Absolutely. My greatest Christmas wish is that we all remember what Christmas is about.

Happy Holidays,

Dr. E…

For another view of Christmas and finance stress, I would encourage you to check out ‘Twas the Sale Before Christmas.